Quote
"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad."

— Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via loweryourstandards)

(Source: slambien, via samstutch)

Tags: omg sex queueued
Photoset

ghouldilocks:

THE SLUTS UNITE OATH

I believe that sex represents more than just the creation of children.

I believe it is an enjoyable, healthy and a profound part of the human experience.

I also believe that the responsible use of birth control is an essential component of a mature, civilized society.

And if these beliefs make me a slut in some people’s eyes, then so be it.

I will stand united with my fellow sluts, now and always.

(via shae-la-vie)

Photoset

I’m curious as to the correlation.  because a blackberry is usually a more business-oriented platform?  because the iPhone crowd is viewed as elitist?  what??

(Source: jonwithabullet)

Quote
"Dutch parents, by contrast, downplay the dangerous and difficult sides of teenage sexuality, tending to normalize it. They speak of readiness (er aan toe zijn), a process of becoming physically and emotionally ready for sex that they believe young people can self-regulate, provided they’ve been encouraged to pace themselves and prepare adequately. Rather than emphasizing gender battles, Dutch parents talk about sexuality as emerging from relationships and are strikingly silent about gender conflicts. And unlike Americans who are often skeptical about teenagers’ capacities to fall in love, they assume that even those in their early teens fall in love. They permit sleepovers, even if that requires an “adjustment” period to overcome their feelings of discomfort, because they feel obliged to stay connected and accepting as sex becomes part of their children’s lives."

What the US Can Learn from the Dutch About Teen Sex (via accumulatio-artemis)

I would like to be this kind of parent.

(via fuckyeahmenfolk)

dude let’s all be dutch

(via girlargueswithtree)

Seriously The Netherlands is fucking amazing okay.

(via bittergrapes

This gives me hope for the future of my parenting endeavors. 

(via lipstick-feminists)

Photo
peecharrific:

geekscoutcookies:

ariaonthefloor:

illletyourbadpartsin:

GPOY

*slow clap*



i. am. here. for. that. cot. damb. gif.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

this is not helping my issues.

peecharrific:

geekscoutcookies:

ariaonthefloor:

illletyourbadpartsin:

GPOY

*slow clap*

i. am. here. for. that. cot. damb. gif.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

this is not helping my issues.

(via karnythia)

Tags: sex YES PLEASE